In every year, i look forward to two days in particular, my birthday and December 31st!! On these two days i make sure to make myself peaceful and happy. However, this year was way out of ordinary. no matter how hard i tried to pull myself together to welcome new year , i simply couldn't. Right from morning everything was disturbing! I used to be prefer loneliness, it was very comfortable, no matter how isolated i was every day, i used to enjoy those two days to full.
My life was everyone's dream, because it provided security, enjoyment and above all , satisfaction without any interruption! Solitude was my best friend, it taught me to stay careful, to stay in right sense, to stay independent. But i wanted to change, to live inside a society rather than to lurk in a dark corner. I left my solitude and came outside to see how it'll be in a group.
At first everything was fine, there were a few glitches, but i was able to handle them. Life was brighter, the new path i chose seemed welcoming, but there were still cracks in myself, the solitary part of me kept pulling me back into its clutches, to make feel lonely again. one moment i am enjoying and the other i am isolated. Gradually the solitude became to haunt me like a ghost resurrected from the past. It was like an addiction that i couldn't escape from. I had friends, may be i still have, but i wanted completely to myself. I can feel that there is something wrong with my mind, but who can cure someone who is no harm to society, but prefers to remain isolated.
This particular day, the 31st of December, friends were enjoying to DJ songs and i found myself away from them doing nothing but staring at them from the top of the building. For a moment i wondered if i am the only person who is so damaged that he cannot bear the presence of a group of friends. Then i saw another student arranging his bed to sleep while his friends are literally rocking the party downstairs. There are people like me, who want to remain lonely. I don't know the cure for this loneliness. I like this solitude and at the same time i keep expecting someone to care about me, to come and drag me out my solitary. This is a psychological disorder.
I had someone to whom i used to share all my feelings, my sadness and my happiness, but i lost them too out of arrogant behaviour.
If everything happens for a reason, then i would like know that damn reason for me to be like this. There is no friendship, but just acquaintance.
For me there is no one to rely on,
in my life, i just have to go on!
lonely without any support,
my journey continues to where lies a boat!
that can take me to solitude,
b'coz for now, it offers me fortitude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is 'the solitude' of mine.
My life was everyone's dream, because it provided security, enjoyment and above all , satisfaction without any interruption! Solitude was my best friend, it taught me to stay careful, to stay in right sense, to stay independent. But i wanted to change, to live inside a society rather than to lurk in a dark corner. I left my solitude and came outside to see how it'll be in a group.
At first everything was fine, there were a few glitches, but i was able to handle them. Life was brighter, the new path i chose seemed welcoming, but there were still cracks in myself, the solitary part of me kept pulling me back into its clutches, to make feel lonely again. one moment i am enjoying and the other i am isolated. Gradually the solitude became to haunt me like a ghost resurrected from the past. It was like an addiction that i couldn't escape from. I had friends, may be i still have, but i wanted completely to myself. I can feel that there is something wrong with my mind, but who can cure someone who is no harm to society, but prefers to remain isolated.
This particular day, the 31st of December, friends were enjoying to DJ songs and i found myself away from them doing nothing but staring at them from the top of the building. For a moment i wondered if i am the only person who is so damaged that he cannot bear the presence of a group of friends. Then i saw another student arranging his bed to sleep while his friends are literally rocking the party downstairs. There are people like me, who want to remain lonely. I don't know the cure for this loneliness. I like this solitude and at the same time i keep expecting someone to care about me, to come and drag me out my solitary. This is a psychological disorder.
I had someone to whom i used to share all my feelings, my sadness and my happiness, but i lost them too out of arrogant behaviour.
If everything happens for a reason, then i would like know that damn reason for me to be like this. There is no friendship, but just acquaintance.
For me there is no one to rely on,
in my life, i just have to go on!
lonely without any support,
my journey continues to where lies a boat!
that can take me to solitude,
b'coz for now, it offers me fortitude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is 'the solitude' of mine.
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