The Predator & the Prey

This is not about the species thing like we watch in discovery or animal planet television shows, but rather it is about the two kinds of personalities that exist in us. Whatever it might be, the basic principle remains the same
: the predator either kills or the prey escapes, both co-existing together will only make things a little complex.
          We think in many ways for every move we make, we weigh the outcomes and decide which way to go, which way to step ahead. Fortunately few of us are more capable in this than others and they live on without any major hiccups. But the rest, we get stuck in a dilemma, to chose the right option, to make the right decision.
Nobody is perfect and nobody can escape without making a mistake!
              Whatever i do, the outcome of my action will decide whether i am going to be a predator or prey. I am the predator and prey of myself. Its tough deciding which part of me, i have to let go, because the weaker part has the stronger connection and i live it everyday, but the stronger part comes to use occasionally to save my ass from getting into troubles that have a perspective to vanquish the purpose of life.
         The Prey:
               " I can't take it anymore. Things are not as they usually were! I am beginning to sense the stares and laughs when i pass by, i can sense people thinking about me as a loser, good-for-nothing brat who spends his time reading bullshit and passing time without any seriousness of his aims and goal. My friends think of me as a bad influence, one, no one can understand because i am being unpredictable. They decide whether i'm in or not. I am depending on others without any other option, because i screwed up my life pretty bad. I let others empower me. I want to change but how can i if i am not interested, if i don't like what i've to do to get back to my former self or rather to enter a door which leads me to former self. "
       The Predator:
               "I am the former self. This happens to me all the time. I am the best when i am least expected. For some reason, i don't have that grip to stay longer than usual, just to take myself a little higher than others. I leave as soon as i achieve something. I don't care the stares, the laughs and the talks behind me. For me, I kick ass if anybody gets in my way. I do things if i like them. My life has to be like this. I am an achiever, everybody is. If everyone can achieve something, why can't i? I can, time has come to prove myself again and this time i am gonna make my stand. People had their chance and they have done pretty well in gaining a upper hand on me, but no more. They have crossed the threshold limit and now they'll see what i am capable of when i am serious about what i do!"
            These two thoughts are always there! The desire to make myself worthy, make myself different never leaves. Life is never complex, its easy to survive, you just have to figure out which is the path. You may not have a chance to turn around and go back but you can always make a new path ahead for yourself. Time has come to taste a little change in atmosphere!!!!!!!!!

The achiever who lost it all!!!!

For my comfortability sake, I'm gonna write it as if it's my own experience!!

It was 1999 and elders were just expecting their kids to be in top position wherever they are! If everyone is a topper, then INDIA would be already leading the world right? So, to save world from that disaster i aspired to be what i am rather than to be a topper. But my parents weren't! They wanted me to score full in every examination, i mean who wants their kid to get full score in 7th standard. Well, my parents did and they tried very hard to get everything into my brain but, in vain. Five years later I am the second top scorer from my school in tenth standard. Everybody were surprised to see me score that much, but then was when i heard the word "Achiever"!! I didnt feel like i deserved it but i wanted it so badly, to feel like an achiever. Intermediate (+2) passed without any adventures as everybody seemed to just get into IIT's and NIT's. Don't expect much, because i failed every GOD damn competitive examination and got a seat in a local engineering college which had 25 years of experience in training arseholes (engineers)! Engineering passed with a few hiccups but right on time. Then came the surprise everybody was waiting for! The exam which decided who's an achiever, "GATE"!!!!, with which you could get into national institutes for continuing masters. Everybody were seen with their mouths and eyes gaping wide enough for a bug to enter,... to watch me with an AIR (All India Rank). Well, then i felt like i am an achiever and i deserved it! I can say a line which suits me better." I am best when i am least expected."  Masters was a visible challenge which i ignored without any second thought. I achieved more than anyone had ever expected. I didn't foresee my future to feel like everything's gonna be okay. I knew when to worry, i knew when to study, i knew when somebody says "get ur arse up here and study till your brain's exhausted and you can't take it anymore! " But what's the point in doing all this if that doesn't have a reason. The reason was there for me. I had to make my elders happy and proud, for once i wanted them to feel like giving birth was never a mistake! I wanted my parents, my friends, my relatives to feel proud of me and to watch them say my name aloud and tell to everyone that they know me! I wanted to be famous just to watch everyone i knew get delighted. But what did i miss amidst of all these? I never thought about what i want. I achieved a top score in two toughest examinations in the world, but for whose sake? I never wanted it to sate my thirst. I wanted it for others. I just wanted a peaceful life for me! I am 28 now and i earn a lot than anyone can ever imagine. I work in a MNC because of IIM degree which i got through CAT (the 2nd achievement) ! But for whose sake! I am not a man of conciousness, I dont have a generous heart to take care of others! Its not because i dont care, but i never grew up thinking about others! I just wanted to make my elders feel proud and not to be disappointed with me.

                                                                      The years i spent studying did not teach me how to live, how to survive, the knowledge did not teach me how to be selfless, how to actually live like a human. I've become a machine which i hate to use. My girl doesn't want me near her because she felt like i only wanted her to be my maid, to be my pleasure machine. May be that's true. I achieved and anybody will say i am not an  achiever, but to me there is nothing that i can say i feel proud of achieving that, i never have! Now i dont have anything. If i die, i will not be buried traditionally, nobody will cry for me! I am just another organism in all other countless other organisms!!
            Who am I? I am an achiever who lost it all!! Or felt like i lost it all! ;)

Prejudice of being in love!!!!!!

There was a girl who stole my heart........i'm just being silly....let me start it again....there was a girl whom i once liked, liked so much that i asked her to marry me, in time. I was barely out of teenage and there i was, deciding about whom to marry. She told me that i am a sincere lover but that she is not worthy of my love, the reason as to why she felt like that, i never knew, for she chose the only way I would let her go from my life....insult! The moment she told me that she never did wanted me in her life and so i had to get the hell out of her life and to never contact her again, i immediately obliged.
This unfortunate event, i never wished
for my love, as i never wanted it perished!
but alas, i knew the truth
that my love wasn't real as i had thought!
Before all this happened, i never thought i would get over her if at all she left me and i would move on. I wanted to suffer, i wanted to cry, i welcomed darkness, that pain was indescribable. I might have lost it, not the will to live, because i liked my life, i didn't want to end up like another failed lover for i know the world has already scores of them! but the will to love, as at that moment for a fraction of second, i despised them. The failure is nothing, it just stays there for a moment , but the memory of it, it never leaves unless you get over it. It just lingers there, in your weakest part of mind, trying to control you, making you desperate to give into depression. Suddenly the beauty of the world around you just slips into background, the senses work but you don't notice them any more.  Every happy face you see, you envy, hate occupies the place of love, eventually destroying you. But i got over it, i liked my life too much to lose it over a failed attempt of getting in a relationship. The control wasn't that strong, for in just few days, i began to feel normal again, the sunlight was warm over my skin, just the feel of it made me live and ignore the sorrow. It drove away the darkness. The breeze, the warming rays of morning light, it was like protection. It made me feel safe! and i knew i moved on. Never again did it feel bad again but more than that i was glad and still am that she told me leave. Not only because i realised that i only liked her very much but never loved her, but also life gave me another girl, the one i dreamt for years, the one i only wished i'd fall in love with. "A dream come true"- you should know , i used this phrase so often that i really couldn't believe in dreams coming true. So many years of waiting that made me believe that , that particular girl did not exist. Finally i met her. I know what you must be feeling like, "history repeats itself" , girl breaks up, guy falls in love another girl! Well, how low it may sound, it is the nature of life, it is how life is intended to be. This i am not telling to support myself but it is true. True love doesn't mean that you need to destroy yourself if the girl rejects you. Love is always true, but if it doesn't work out, if your partner doesn't feel like it towards you, may be she is not the right one! Your love is always true as long as you stay sincere to it! Try hard, Love sincerely, still if its a failure, its not your fault anymore, so just move on! Because there is more, out in the world, the nature is always there with its arms wide open to welcome you to live, to be a part of its beauty. And for that you need only do one thing! Have the will, never lose it for a person who is not a match for you. She might be a good person but if she doesn't feel your love, she isn't the right one! Why die over a faulty cause, when there is whole world of true love out there, when there is your true love waiting somewhere for you to go and live with her happily everafter!!! May be i found mine, for now atleast i feel like it. If she agrees, which she has to for i am a very stubborn idiot who doesn't give it up easily, we might enjoy the taste of love. Tempting, isn't it...the very feel of being in love...the shock you feel when you look at the face of the one you love, the craving that is in your body to feel her, to have her in your arms, to kiss, its just beautiful!!!!

Come my love for i need to embrace
i want to feel the love's grace!

Nothing is as pure,
so there was never any need for cure!
We just thought we lost it,
for our mind and heart believed what we wanted to believe,
For just once if people think of trying once more,
there will be no suicides anymore!
Life, for it has only purpose,
you have to move on,

die if you want to
but know that its not the end and never even in your dreams say that you are dying because you lost your love! because that is the lie you believed and the whole world believed and still believes!!!!!!

Chapter one: The beggar on a busy street!

This is the first chapter of a story i'm likely to finish in a few days if time permits me. I'm sure if i will have enough time, i could make it entertaining and electrifying..well that depends too because i'm still an amateur blogger!
                                                   
In chess, there would be times when a well placed pawn is more stronger than the king himself! whether it can be applied in real world and in controversial phenomena? well, anything can happen and not all situatinos are strictly in control of the hands which hold the strings, right?
Well here goes the tale or moreover a fiction fuelled incident that is likely to become my first step towards becoming a writer:
 A beggar who knew a face well enough to describe it to a sketch artist, will be a mistake overlooked if that face is going behind bars for a crime that the owner of that face committed and was going to escape without any trouble.

                                                            The Beggar on a busy street 
                                                                                                              M.G.Road, Bangalore. 7:30 p.m.
Bangalore, the city of green or so its residents call it, is a very busy one with all its roads flooded with traffic in the working hours. Employees rushing off to offices, students to colleges, "ahh" its a irritating sight to watch. In the evenings its a whole different place and of course the traffic is still there, but this time you'll observe the partyharders all over the place with their sport bikes and cars. There is no specific day you can fix to a young bachelor for partying, right? Bangalore, it offers a irresistible night life if you are to welcome it!
                                            It so happened that steve was on his way to UB city, a place where every brick  in that building screams money. He was taking a parabolic turn (U-turn) and go for the entrance gate and its when it happened. Something flew out of air and fell on his car hood making him to jolt out of his cool demeanour and shriek with shock. A fraction of second later he hears a scream coming from the back seat  from his friend who was similarly shocked to discover that object which fell on the car was a body, which is now behind the car on the road. Steve immediately got down to check whether that was his fault. One thing that is common in every part of the world, no matter how busy people might be, they immediately lose all their focus on their daily routines and gather around an accident which happens near them and believe me, not all are going to call an ambulance or going to offer a helping hand. India is no different than the rest of the world. There was already a crowd gathering around steve's car or moreover the body that is behind steve's car by the time he got out. When he saw the body, he could not utter a single word. This wasn't due to the shock of recognition he made to the body but just he didn't know what to say. That body was of a beggar's! And in the gap of the crowd, he also saw a person watching the commotion, get into his car and drive away. Steve could bet that he saw something red on the corner of the headlight of the car, only that it was shattered now.